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HappyDistractions Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "D-Brad" journal:

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November 30th, 2012
08:59 pm


i'm not even sure where to begin. i'm writing here because i feel some compulsion to seemingly "publish" my thoughts. It's a strange urge.

Life has gotten so incredible bizarre. I can't believe I've wound up here and wonder where I'll go. Sometimes I wonder if there's a point to this madness. I suppose the point in personal growth but it seems like constant stream of fucked up things.

this Lee thing is maddening. I don't know where I should stand. I want to see him more than anything in my life and no one seems to understand that. They think I should just give up. Maybe I should. When I remember how much I love him, I slip into a depression. Is it really too much to ask to see the person I love? My heart literally aches for him and I'm overwhelmed by it. He lives a care free life. He's life is carrying on slendidly and I'm sitting over here with my hand on my dick. I mean, come on! I'm not entirely sure what to do because I don't think I can win either way. I've always wanted someone, and I finely found someone. I found someone I could care about and who cared about me! And now? I can't do shit. I'm paralyzed. I can hear him laughing with his friends--in particular his girl friends--so loudly from all the way over the atlantic. this is pain. loosing your love because of distance is horrible. It just isn't right.

I'm not sure how to proceed. I miss him so much. I want to pursue my life and thrive. Is it so wrong to want him by my side while I do that?

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May 11th, 2008
03:59 pm


Dear Lisa,

instead of being a coward, wont you let me message you back?
you are really childish and quite hilarious. my friends and i have a bunch of laughs at your expense.
you write messages to me, and block me from facebook and prevent me from responding.

im so glad we're no longer friends because obviously you have serious issues. i feel sorry for you.

this could have been resolved sooo easily. but you would not have it that way. thats a shame. it just shows what kind of character you have. its entertaining that you feel as though im such a horrible person because i wont like you. but you actions time and time again show that you enjoy making yourself look crazy.

why wont you just grow up?


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May 9th, 2008
11:25 pm


i want to be healthy again
im writing from brooklyn.
everyone is still at school.
i have medically withdrawn.
i am free.
its really weird.

so im just watching john adams. i was supposed to meet up with leah but its really shitty out.
i can only imagine what is going on at umass.
harry is still there which saddens me. i miss him.
harry is unlike anyone that could ever exist. he is real. he is exciting. he is silly. he is everything to me.

BUT so last night!
i watched lost.
i didnt think anything was going to do on.
but as a couple of us walked back from north apartments, i walked in on harrys room.
and to my surprise, there was a surprise party for me!
what joy! it was splendid.

everyone was there!
it was a night!
everyone has a great time.
and when we got kicked out, we all went outside and chalked the whole quad.
it was just the way to go out.
i will miss people. and those people i will keep in touch.
others were nice in their time and i will always remember umass.


and then!Collapse )

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February 15th, 2008
12:24 am


SO harry's vday card sucked. i hate my life. i need implants. implants rule!
harry! buy me implants. donations welcome on paypal at dd46@paypal.com.

he loves me he swears. more than i love him. but that love wont make my bittie pieces bigger. shucks.

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November 17th, 2007
04:54 pm


right now im high.
but what else is new?

ive really fucked myself over. i dont know if ill be able to correct it, but ill try my damndest. basically i skipped a test and now am waiting on a written document from a head GSS person to excuse me. fuck.

harry got way too drunk last night. i took care of him. it was cute and rather disgusting at the same time.

the sounds really put me in a better mood. i love them. oy vey.

i showed ....

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May 14th, 2007
07:55 am


i dont even know...

brought to you by Mr.Muppet

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April 20th, 2007
12:39 am


i hate being poor.

why does my mom think she needs to teach me a lesson at my expense (no pun intended)

arg. major arg.

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April 11th, 2007
08:55 pm


Ode To Zach Braff

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March 25th, 2007
03:46 am


so today was a pretty damn yucky day. I WAS SO HUNGOVER! llike seriously, i havent been that hungover in quite sometime. it was disgusting. of course, i didnt throw up though. my body literally REJECTS throwing up. i can count on one hand how many times ive thrown up since freshman year of high school. sometimes i wish i could just throw up when i feel so sick from drinking too much, but i just cant. it sucks ass.

so i just chilled at home with the 'rents for most of the day. i kpet falling asleep all day, but when i felt, it felt goooooood.

my mom was so adorable today because she boiled eggs and we dyed them. we've dyed eggs for easter for as long as i can remember, and since im probably not going to be home this easter, we dyed them today. it was cool. i love the colors of the eggs. they're such vibrant colors. my personal favs: the red (of course), the green (which is actually a really cool teal color, kinda like my prom dress), and the purple. th purple is all speckily (definitely not the way to spell that) and cool.

at 10 i finally felt rested and went to meet up with leah and elana. i love leah. so much. we used to not get along well at all but we were able to get past all the stupid shit. she's such a cool person that its hard not to just love her. sometimes she doesnt realize how awesome she is, in every sense of the word, and it frustrates me. this break we've spent so much time together and it's been so much fun. we can just chill and do whatever, and still have a blast. hahaha, so corny. but its the truth.

i go back to umass tomorrow...well techinically today. ive had a good week and it sucks that i gotta leave now. but its like, hey, it just makes me appreicate home more. if im here for too long, ill see all the cracks and flaws with my life here, that it might ruin the good times ive been having. the break wasnt too short, but it wasnt too long. just right. ive gotten shit done here and im ready to get shit done back at school.

but im so not happy about the long ass bus ride im gonna have tomorrow. but i have harry potter, the 6th one. ive been meaning to read it. this is my chance. ive got nothing better to do.

p.s. i found all these pictures from junior and senior year on my moms computer. as dorky as it sounds, im so looking forward to putting them on facebook. i am such a loser.

Current Mood: blahblah

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March 21st, 2007
07:05 pm


some UrbanDictionary.Com funn
DanaCollapse )

Park SlopeCollapse )

Edward R. Murrow High SchoolCollapse )

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