Dear Lisa,

instead of being a coward, wont you let me message you back?
you are really childish and quite hilarious. my friends and i have a bunch of laughs at your expense.
you write messages to me, and block me from facebook and prevent me from responding.

im so glad we're no longer friends because obviously you have serious issues. i feel sorry for you.

this could have been resolved sooo easily. but you would not have it that way. thats a shame. it just shows what kind of character you have. its entertaining that you feel as though im such a horrible person because i wont like you. but you actions time and time again show that you enjoy making yourself look crazy.

why wont you just grow up?

Signed,
Dana

im writing from brooklyn.
everyone is still at school.
i have medically withdrawn.
i am free.
its really weird.

so im just watching john adams. i was supposed to meet up with leah but its really shitty out.
i can only imagine what is going on at umass.
harry is still there which saddens me. i miss him.
harry is unlike anyone that could ever exist. he is real. he is exciting. he is silly. he is everything to me.

BUT so last night!
i watched lost.
i didnt think anything was going to do on.
but as a couple of us walked back from north apartments, i walked in on harrys room.
and to my surprise, there was a surprise party for me!
what joy! it was splendid.

everyone was there!
it was a night!
everyone has a great time.
and when we got kicked out, we all went outside and chalked the whole quad.
it was just the way to go out.
i will miss people. and those people i will keep in touch.
others were nice in their time and i will always remember umass.
umass.

um...ass

( and then! )

SO harry's vday card sucked. i hate my life. i need implants. implants rule!
harry! buy me implants. donations welcome on paypal at dd46@paypal.com.

he loves me he swears. more than i love him. but that love wont make my bittie pieces bigger. shucks.

right now im high.
but what else is new?

ive really fucked myself over. i dont know if ill be able to correct it, but ill try my damndest. basically i skipped a test and now am waiting on a written document from a head GSS person to excuse me. fuck.

harry got way too drunk last night. i took care of him. it was cute and rather disgusting at the same time.

the sounds really put me in a better mood. i love them. oy vey.

i showed ....

brought to you by Mr.Muppet

i hate being poor.

why does my mom think she needs to teach me a lesson at my expense (no pun intended)

arg. major arg.

so today was a pretty damn yucky day. I WAS SO HUNGOVER! llike seriously, i havent been that hungover in quite sometime. it was disgusting. of course, i didnt throw up though. my body literally REJECTS throwing up. i can count on one hand how many times ive thrown up since freshman year of high school. sometimes i wish i could just throw up when i feel so sick from drinking too much, but i just cant. it sucks ass.

so i just chilled at home with the 'rents for most of the day. i kpet falling asleep all day, but when i felt, it felt goooooood.

my mom was so adorable today because she boiled eggs and we dyed them. we've dyed eggs for easter for as long as i can remember, and since im probably not going to be home this easter, we dyed them today. it was cool. i love the colors of the eggs. they're such vibrant colors. my personal favs: the red (of course), the green (which is actually a really cool teal color, kinda like my prom dress), and the purple. th purple is all speckily (definitely not the way to spell that) and cool.

at 10 i finally felt rested and went to meet up with leah and elana. i love leah. so much. we used to not get along well at all but we were able to get past all the stupid shit. she's such a cool person that its hard not to just love her. sometimes she doesnt realize how awesome she is, in every sense of the word, and it frustrates me. this break we've spent so much time together and it's been so much fun. we can just chill and do whatever, and still have a blast. hahaha, so corny. but its the truth.

i go back to umass tomorrow...well techinically today. ive had a good week and it sucks that i gotta leave now. but its like, hey, it just makes me appreicate home more. if im here for too long, ill see all the cracks and flaws with my life here, that it might ruin the good times ive been having. the break wasnt too short, but it wasnt too long. just right. ive gotten shit done here and im ready to get shit done back at school.

but im so not happy about the long ass bus ride im gonna have tomorrow. but i have harry potter, the 6th one. ive been meaning to read it. this is my chance. ive got nothing better to do.

p.s. i found all these pictures from junior and senior year on my moms computer. as dorky as it sounds, im so looking forward to putting them on facebook. i am such a loser.

mood: blah

im waiting right now for leah to come over so we can smoke a blunt. or two.

i was just listening to the pixies song about my school, appropriately named UMASS. ive heard so many tales of the pixie era at my school. the met at umass, and got together there. at one point their building, Van Meter--or was it Baker?--tried to suseed (spelling?) from the state of massachusetts. ugh, now it just sucks.

and tell me how i was just watching the series finale of Sex and the City on TBS and i started crying. ive seen it multiple times too! such a good way to end of tv show.

( UM....ASS! )

last night was really insane. i had such a good time at pace's house.

but being there, with all those people, made me realize how ii've moved on past Park Slope. Most of the people there were still in high school. not that theres anything wrong with people who are still in high school, but they're just entering the social grid now. it was weird. like i remember being their age and meeting people who were home from college and just hear about the times they had in park slope, or wherever, and just knowing that yes, this stuff did happen, but it was before me. now, this is all after me. it was very surreal.

hopefully this week will turn out interesting. no one's really here besides Leah. but we're have so much fun, i dont care if anyone else is here. hahahaha.

back to 24.

WHY DO I ALWAYS MISSPELL WORDS?! seriously, i probably just misspelled misspell. oh vey. like when i type, ill type a completely different word than the word i had intended on writing.

i just got a manicure for the first time since junior year. it was nice, but i remembered why i stopped getting them. the place i go to--Seven Nails--are employeed with pushy, talking-shit-about-you-right-in-front-of-you, Korean women.

my mom made homemade chicken noodle soup. yummmmm. dinner in 20.

then getting TRASHED tonight. sweet. sweet.

for those who do not leave in the northeast, there was a snowstorm today and it will continue well into st patricks day.

well lucky me because i got to drive home from school today. and oh what fun it was! what usually takes about 3 and a half hours to 4 hours, took 8 hours from start to end. lovely.

im home now.

and ready to par-tay!

okay, so i was on the verge of tears

and i started drinking so i wouldnt cry

not the best soltution.

but its thursday.

and im drunk.

and all my worries have gone away for now.

and i cant complain.

and fuck all you haters.

im having fun.

p.s. human beings are going to hell because they all suck.

you know how yesterday i was in good spirits? yea, totally not like that today.

i met up with duncan shortly after updating, and when i met him, clouds came out and it started raining. and the day just went downhill from there.

i think ive made some smart decisions concerning my personal life. but when i returned to my room from my mini-meltdown with julia yesterday, my power still hadnt been turned on, and i couldnt study for my midterm today and couldnt get online to take the test that was online. i was a mess.

so pretty much, i took a sleeping pill and passed out from midnight (the earliest ive gone to bed in awhile) to 1pm.

now ive gotta pack, clean up my room, and meet up with friends.

i cant wait to go home.

mood: cynical

seeing as im only stopping in my room for a minute, i thought i would update. whoop de doo.

IT IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL OUT!!!! Right now it's cooled off to to 65 degrees but today it hit 70 here. i love it i love it i love it!! everyone is out right now doing something. people are sitting on the pyramids, playing volleyball, basketball, rollerblading, bkie riding, and even (get this!) DOING DOUBLE DUTCH! reminds me of being home.

its days like today that remind me that life isnt so bad. days when its freezing out and the only time you'll see people out are when they are scurrying to class, really get me down. theres no human interaction. but not today! it even smells like spring out. it absolutely delicious. i studied for a midterm i have tomorrow outside today. i just sat there with my laptop and books and get my education on. fabulous!

things are going well right now. and im happy i can appreciate that. but i know it'll probably drop 40 degrees, start snowing, and have things go down the shitter, but for right now, im enjoying the goodness in life.

p.s. i really gotta work on my sleep schedule. the only time i can even think about sleep in when im in duncans bed--even though we spend hours on end talking and dont go to sleep until 5 am. whatever. 5 am is better than 8am, the time i went to bed 2 days ago. ooooooooh im supposed to meet up with the devil in a couple of minutes (surprise, surprise) and maybe ill bring my backgammon, sit outside with him, and teach him how to play. egyptian rat screw is geting king of repetitive because i win everytime.

mood: rejuvenated

i just got back to my room. and let me just say this, i feel so sick.

i only had 2 shots of tequila, but i also had a lot of other liquor. BAD idea. around 230-3 i passed out and woke up around 345. i wasnt asleep for long, but when i woke up, i wasnt the least bit tired and im still not. but now i just feel siiiick. my stomach is churning like a motherfucker, and i would love to throw up just to get it all out of my system but my body literally rejects the idea of throwing up and wont let it. only when im sick with the flu (in the worst cases) and drunk beyond comprehension, can i throw up. its kind of a curse.

niiiiick came to visit tonight. our visit was cut kinda short when him, ariana and julia deciced to drive to Providence, RI to go get a little something-something, so i just hung out with duncan. no problem with that.

and now its almost 5am and i have class at 1115, and im not tired. boooooooooo.

oooooh! i must say this though. tonight, before the night officially started, i went to see my friend Keais' (pronounced Keys) show. He's in this accapella group called the Doo-Wop Shop. It was absolutely FANTASTIC! like sooo good. they have a facebook and a myspace, and if you're ever bored, check out their music. Keais is an amazing singer, and i never knew it. seriously, me and keais are getting married one day. i love love love him. he's too nice a guy though. i would break his heart. hahaha. but they are so theatrical when they perform. my favorite song they did, hands down, was Octopus' Garden. but all their songs were good. im going to make a habit of seeing their shows. Keais always invites me to his shows but i always forget, or have a scheduling conflict. oh man, was i missing out.

i guess im just gonna watch 24 until i have class. oh what fun.

okay its 415 am and i have nothing to do but watch 24 think.

and i realized how im scared that i wont have a maid of honor. im scared i will never be someones maid of honor. i mean, that depends on whether or not i get married, but the principle of a maid of honor in the big picture is what im talking about.

i know i could always have a maid of honor but what if i never make that friendship that is so reciprocal that its a given that we will be each other maids of honors.

dude, i hate that duncan didnt sleep over and now im up at 420 am thinking about this kind of nonsense.

so ive been sick for what seems like forever. i started getting sick about 2 weeks ago (13 days technically). it all started with a sore throat, progressed to a horrible cough, and then the whole works. i was tired, sneezing. yada yada yada. i went to health services on campus and they said it was the flu. but its still not gone. my cough has gone away for the most part but im sneezing more now and i cant stop sleeping. all i do is sleep. and the weird thing is that my appetite hasnt decreased. its actually increased exponetially. weird. very weird.

i cant remember the last thing i wrote here. party over the weekend was awesome (cant even begin to describe).

i spend more nights in duncans room. and dont go all pervy on me now, you dirty dirty people.

on saturday, i was so wiped out, we stayed in and played cards. egyptian ratscrew to be exact. i taught him how to play and we're addicted. its great! seriously we must have played 50 games so far. the last game we played, he finally won his first game. there were so many times he was seconds away from beating me, but i always came around, and won. go me!

but so now, i have barely left my bed in days. all i do is sleep and watch 24 on this site my friend sent me with basically every movie and show ever. its great.

bleck. i just want to feel better.

and i cant help but feel like im forgetting to do something. like theres something ive supposed to be doing, but i cant put my finger on it. and its been like this for 2 days or so. grr....what is it?!!?

i like him.
i really do.
and he likes me.
it feels nice.
itfs nice to feel something again.
its nice moving slow,
its nice to be real.

i just like being here.

p.s. little people big world marathon. hells yes. and monk is my new favorite tv show